AN ADDICTS LOVE LETTER

February 2016

It’s been so long,
and still When she looks at me in passing
Even with blood shot eyes 
her glance makes me relive every moment that we’ve ever had together.

Over and over I see the scenery change behind your growing hair.
Saw the tears and joy ping pong back and forth through every day and night we spend together. 
We loved for so long,

I forgot who I was, But I knew you and I know us. 


I held your hand so tight every night I lost feeling of when my grip ended and yours began.
Our clothes washed together so many times even the fabric would give anything not to become undone.
We became a blanket,
sheltered one another from the outside thinking if we wished hard enough we could be alone forever.
So We held our eyes shut.

Thankful for this bliss we blinded ourselves from their thoughts.
We’d only see each other.

Id never dare to blink.
Spend every night with dry eyes I know I’d never give up the chance to lose you even if for just a second.

I’d drain every ocean, count every grain of sand 
let every crystal be a tic on the chalkboard in our home.

I’ll write every thought in every poem
I was too protective to share.


Next to the lists we had so many trips, recorded thoughts, recipes, never checked off anything.
We created and consumed.
Kept evidence to prove how real we really were.
And In case you forgot about us,
we were legendary.


In our books we covered land no man had yet to find.
We didn’t know what was happening but we knew it felt good,

even the pain,

no matter how unbearable we were
we were addicts.
And maybe,

maybe we were bad, maybe we were making it worse,
but we tasted so good.

I never wrote a true love poem yet. 
No feeling gave energy to my words, 

no meaning in the night till you made me start looking for stars.
Now in every dark moment I see lights from you.
You left skin in my stitches, 
my sheets smell like your morning breathe,
and if it keeps others away its okay if It keeps you near.


And I still cling to your bear,

stuffed animals never felt so cliche till they’re the last thing that’s left.

And even through all this pain I still sleep soundly.
That’s why I’ll skip all the unnecessary stories,
there is no grief because you are different from me and I get that,
but we,
we are electric.


We could light this city from the first time our eyes met.
In a world without carpet we would still feel shocks in our hands every time we pushed each other against a wall.
All our peach fuzz stands on ends any time we come in radius,

because we know we’ll lose control.

No matter what,
through time and space no science or studies can clarify why we stay longing for so long.
And we didnt need the answer.
There is no answer,
so let’s not bother looking,
let’s run off feeling.

Why pay attention to pain when we know it’s only caused by love.
Know the reason I’m so low is because Im deprived of a drug that kept me so high 
that I lost myself.
And I still do.
On lonely nights and weekends to escape I’ll drown in thoughts of you.
I know you’ll keep me sleeping through my alarms,
and I’m not mad about it.
How could I be.
You’re the one who opened my eyes.
How I found my way to you through so many years blinded by what I thought was true,
I never knew me.
And if what I found was a drug then I’ll keep tripping.
So don’t wake me up,
I’d rather sleep

Put to the music of:

Daughter - Your Kisses (Slimburn Bootleg)