We walk through screaming cities past drunk bodies all searching for a way to get home
Stumbling over, we grab everything on the way down hoping something might just break the fall
We're all desperate for attention
We move in packs with others like us
helping to mix cocktails of desperation with the poison we spend our housing deposits on
We know the scorch of liquor won't burn more than the words we throw up
So we stand proud
with puke in our hair and tears in our dress
We pretend we're okay
We've been taught that in our twenties
its normal to be a mess on Friday nights.
Suddenly the dangers not as bad
when you can't feel your body hit the ground.
We know The pain in the morning isn't worse
Then how you feel all week
so we sharpen knives in our mind.
Giving weapons to the thoughts to keep cutting ourselves internally
know that bleeding within is worse than without,
yet we muzzle every attempt our bodies make to ask for help.
We block our eyes to take shots.
Can't see the pain in our scars.
We relive the moments in our head
with every drink we take back
And we start to remember how they got there.
Now the night becomes our therapy.
Homemade remedies passed from strangers
We lick our lips with the satisfaction of knowing we will all be numb soon.
And in some way that feels safe.
Our senses are what make us human,
but we spend so long leaving feelings untouched
they grow strong in the pit of our gut
threatening to drag us down if we aren't willing to hear them out loud
So Its on these nights we fight back.
Threaten our body with boos, we'd rather die then speak our own truth.
We sow our mouths shut.
Holding back each thought that lashes out
Our slurred words are trying, screaming for help.
Launching every attempt for attention in the crowd
from kissing strangers to breaking chairs.
We'll Run away.
But that only works if they chase you
Now it's 4 am and you're in an ally between two buildings
sit in silence on the ground when your knees give up.
Making you kiss the pavement you walked on
you curl them up below your neck.
Wipe broken skin and move the dirt
The cold pavement and brick walls becomes a comfort for your hurt
You breathe in and close your eyes.
Now is when you feel safe enough for once.
Let loose on your grip.
Drop the muzzle on your words,
in the darkness of this moment
Finally listen to your heartbeat.
Grab your chest to feel the thumping
gasp for air to feel your breathing.
It's in the late hours of these nights
those glimmers of hope beam in our streets.
Connect the hearts and shallow souls,
somehow we're all lost.
We stop fearing strangers who ask for help.
teaching our eyes to stay closed,
hoping images of what were taught become reality,
but the only truth is the lie that we can live and be the same.
We claim worthless,
that our skinned knees and stretch marked skin are of no need to make this world what it is.
That All these lessons taught us change
to Look for whats missing and must replace.
The best thing you offer is you.
Unique, whole, imperfection is just you.
What we honor with drunk hugs
are your scars and broken teeth.
We cheers to you,
and your bones that hold
Drink to the beauty that's in your pours.
We cheers the sorrow in your soul
but the joy and tears that make you whole.
Drink to the reality that we are here
we come togetherand stop the fear
Cheers for the days from start to end.
And on these Friday nights
lets drink again.
The Night Time Calls to Us