The Story Of "You"

July 2016

I hear your name between each word in my thoughts.
I danced with songs hoping you might just appear to give me something else to waltz with.
We were better at moving together in my mind than we ever were able to in real life.

our steps mocked the tide.
Turning ballrooms to oceans.
I could feel my feet sink in the sand,
and let the pressure take molds of my toes 
because I know I want my foot prints on your mind.

Or was it yours on my mind?
It’s like I’m walking on water. 
And I’m not sure why, 
because I’m nowhere near the ocean, 
but maybe it’s the consistency of this sky.

All my senses peak when I close my eyes. 
Now all I can hear the scent of your touch,
taste the truth on your tongue.
Looked for love but found only apologies on my taste buds.

And though I can’t see whats in front of me 

it became more clear without the light that
I thought our breathe was in time,
but I realized I was just breathing for two.

I kept throwing up words and laying everything out for you to see and quickly
I hat to gather up what I could.

I choked back but lost the sound of my breathe whenever I saw that the words kept hitting my own chest.

It’s like dreams had finally gained a life.
I fell in a coma every night.
Knew whatever danger I was in I was on my own, 

so every morning I began wearing blindfolds.
Leaving all of my skin shown,
hoped if I striped I could find out what was keeping me together. 

And maybe I was searching for hope.
Scraping for words in the dirt 
I lost my voice in every attempt that was too soft to be heard.

So I stopped writing.

At least about you,
or the common definition of you.
More every version of you that has tripped me to fall so gratuitously for the words that you spilled to me.
I Tripped on every one of your melodies.
Slipped off each word onto your tongue so delicately.
Couldn’t risk the loss of not hearing it correctly.

I connected all of my stories,
every note a new beginning. 
Create a symphony of you’s in my work that would bring it all to life.
I still hear all of you at night.
Letting the sound drown me alive,
because I’m not afraid of any of you this time. 
For every shadow, they say, dissipates with light.